Now THAT is private..

In 1995, prior to the presidential election of 1996, a group of my very best friends which included husband and wife Lucy and Bill, were all having a nice BBQ in their beautiful Los Gatos, CA backyard.

Months prior to that BBQ, I was in hot and heavy training for the Napa Valley Sutter Home Marathon, a 26 mile run leading from Calistoga, through the twisty Silverado Trail, and ending in the town of Napa.

During the training, I had discovered this sticky-powdered energy drink mix called Choline Cocktail (as in Acetylcholine), which gave a boost of energy probably due to the caffeine I had figured they likely added, and also supposedly stimulated some chemicals which provide higher neurological brain activity. Of course, none of this probably worked, but it was a good placebo to drink prior to an 18 to 21 mile training run.

I had turned my good friend Lucy onto the drink mix, and both her and her husband started drinking it regularly. She was also an avid runner, and we shared the same reasons why we loved to drink a pint of the concoction before we skipped out to do our road labor.

So here we are having a wonderful BBQ at Lucys a few months after I had my personal triumph of running my first marathon, and the subject of politics rears its head. Back in ’95 it was Clinton the incumbent and Dole vying for the highest seat in the nation.

So between the chicken and the Cobb, I had ever so casually asked Lucy and Bill who they intended to vote for in the election. Now, I’ve known these two for about 10 years by now, and somehow apparently, the subject of politics had never come up thus I had no idea what their political interests were, however we were close enough of friends I figured I could ask.

Terrible idea.

Lucy looks back at Bill, licks her lips, then looks to me and says most pointedly and with great conviction, “You know, both Bill and I are very private people when it comes to politics. It’s not anyone’s business but ours and we consider that a very private topic”.

Then it got silent. Very, very silent.

The moment was so awkward it created a momentary vacuum all around us. So, quickly I decided to change the subject to avert the social catastrophe, so I pivot the discussion to our common passion for running and casually ask Lucy if she was still drinking the Choline Cocktail I had turned her on to months back.

She responded in a very matter of fact way, “No, actually- I stopped taking it because it made my pussy stink”.

Incredulously, I looked at her in shock and said “What?, What did you just say?”. She went on, “Really, I stopped taking it because it made my pussy stink”, as she pointed to her private area.

I retracted my head to almost behind my shoulder line in amazement to her comment, looked around at each of the six of us in the backyard, then looked at her and said pointedly, “Uh, for the record honey, now…THAT’S private!!”


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